haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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