He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
