Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize