she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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