she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
