Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
