How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
