He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
As shirtless as possible
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
