i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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