I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She said her name was "party"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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