Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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