Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
