I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
