I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
