hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
