i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
