You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
