It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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