Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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