On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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