On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
