If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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