There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
