Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
