Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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