He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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