when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
