drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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