I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
