went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
