I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
