i just had sex bonerless
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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