Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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