Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
