it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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