Your face is a jimmy john
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
