how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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