sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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