I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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