Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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