I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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