One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
