i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
