Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize