can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize