there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
