so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
