It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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