I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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