I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
