What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize