A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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