You're completely useless in the revolution.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
