i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
