last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
