were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
