i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Randomize
