i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize