I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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