CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
