I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
