Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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