And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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