Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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