I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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