i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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