I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
