Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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