I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
