and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
