I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
