do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
