she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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