im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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