I think my fart just growled at me.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize