; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
