nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't turn off my feet"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
