You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
wow bdsm is so cute
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
