I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize